They’ll get it wrong anyways

by thisismypicture

So bright is the light in front of me,
The glow which gave no warmth
No hint of yellow
But of the purest white.

Engulfs me
Surrounds me
Embodies me
In a flash.

Small chatter crescendos as if I’m slowly waiting up from an afternoon nap.
The voices multiplies and yet still hushed.
Where am I?

Stale air.

I walk up the hallway
And sees myself!
Not myself, but a picture.

At age 30, I was happy and gay.
I still remember taking this picture,
At the old house.
It was Jenna’s 3rd birthday,
I had her in my arms,
The white cake with blue flower frosting.
We were so happy then, my hair was so thick then.

Is this a surprise party?
For me?
But wait.
My birthday isn’t for a long while.

I follow the crowd,
Deeper into the room.
Aunt Thedora? With Alice by her side.
Frank and Tony?
Good Friends! Old friends! I haven’t seen you for many years.

The joy of realizing that I was surrounded by many people, long haven’t seen,
Dimmed with stab in my gut.
Something is off, not quite right.
What are you all doing here?

The pews, the flowers,
A funeral
Not a black tie event.
A funeral for someone we all know, a common friend/family member.
My funeral?!?
Hahahahaha…. No way!
I am alive and well right here!
Maybe great aunt Esther finally gave way.
She must be at least 100 years old by now.
I better pay my respect.

Walking up towards the casket…
I didn’t see aunt Esther but my own face,
And body.

I died.

But how am I still alive?!? Or at least walking around here?!? Am I a…. A ghost?!

“Amazing grace.. How sweet the sound…..”

“Holy shit, I’m at my own funeral!”
Why are we at a church!?
I told them I want to have my funeral at a bar when I am gone!

Flowers?! I specifically said No Flowers! I’ve been allergic to them all my life, now they are choking me with this stuff.

Have they done anything that I wanted?

“….and then, we all jump behind the truck, and Jim goes out and start yelling at the store owners. Hahahaha… That was a moment I would never forget. Jim was the bestest friend anyone could have.”

I should have known they’ll get it wrong anyways.

No Dirk, that was you who jumped out and started yelling at the clerk, drunk with your pants coming off, we had to pull YOU away before he called the cops on us.